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Roses or Thorns?

“And do not incline (in the least) towards the oppressors, lest the fire should touch you…” (Al-Qur’ān 11/113)

Once again, we are faced with an alien custom that has, unfortunately, crept into parts of our community. This is a day celebrated with an exchange of flowers, teddy bears, cards and chocolates.

This day has been commercialized and beautified, thus appealing to the unwary. It’s promoted as a day of love, of spending on your partner. On the surface, this seems innocent.

However, if we were to take a closer look, we’ll realise that this is yet another custom aimed at eroding our Īmān and morals.

The origin of the celebration is steeped in pagan culture (idol worship). The current name was later chosen in honor of a so-called “martyr” of the Catholic church.

Illicit relationships, dating and gifting for haram purposes are glorified and vigorously promoted on this day. This facilitates an atmosphere of immodesty in which the disobedience of Allāh Ta’āla becomes ‘easy’. Even a person who might usually avoid haram contact becomes emboldened enough to find a “special someone” or to send a gift to someone he secretly admires.

Allāh Ta’ālā tells us in the Qur’ān Karīm: “And do not come close to zinā (fornication), verily it is lewd, and an evil way…” (Al-Qur’ān 17/32)

The command from our Creator requires us to distance ourselves from any illicit relationship. Therefore, not only is fornication prohibited, but every avenue that could lead to it is equally forbidden. The environment of the day, if one gets caught up in it, inevitably leads to some form of Zinā thus falling under the purview of this Āyah.

Much wealth is also squandered on gifts, thereby showing disregard for the favors of Allāh Ta’āla upon us.
In Islām, Allah Ta’ālā has given us a beautiful and complete way of life. Nabi Sallalāhu ‘Alayhi wa Sallam has taught us how to shower gifts upon and show our love to our spouses.

Nabi Sallalāhu ‘Alayhi wa Sallam has said: “Give gifts to one another, you will love one another.” . (Muwattā’, 1741)

In another Hadīth, Nabi Sallalāhu ‘Alayhi wa Sallam teaches us: “The best of you are the ones who are the best to their wives.” (Tirmidhī, 1162)

Spending on our family throughout the year has been termed the most excellent form of Sadaqah!

How unfortunate are those who promote ‘outward love’ on one day and then forget about it for the rest of the year!

As Muslims, we abhor any custom foreign to our Dīn. Let alone purchasing a gift for a strange woman, we are taught to strictly avoid buying gifts or going out with even our lawful spouses on such occasions. The passing of such dates should not affect us.

If we ever erroneously participated in such customs, we should immediately turn to Allāh Ta’āla in Tawbah and never try to justify our wrongs.

May Allah Ta’ālā guide us, protect us and grant us a hatred for Kufr (disbelief). Āmīn.

9 Rajab 1443/11 February 2022 A0029

A0029 - Roses or Thorns